![]() ![]() The key is to answer the questions, as honestly as you can. You can test how willing you are to change with a simple set of questions. Surprising things happen when a person owns their unwillingness and simply says, ‘I’m unwilling.’” Test Your Willingness to Change with Willingness Questions “When we coach leaders and teams, we often ask them these specific questions to support them facing their unwillingness to change. When you own your unwillingness, things get real, real fast. You might even want to stop by, but the reality is that you’re unwilling to go.” Own Your Unwillingness When asked by friends if you’ll stop by after work for a drink, you find yourself saying, ‘I’ve got a lot to do before I leave, and my kid is not feeling well, but I’ll try.’ You want credit from your friends for ‘trying’ but you never honestly plan to join them. I’ll try to change.’ Our mentor and friend Hale Dwoskin says, ‘Trying is wanting credit for something you never intend to do.’ So true. “You might also here yourself say, I’ll try. You “try” when you want credit for something you don’t really intend to do. One way it most likes to stay in control is to allow us to think we’re willing to change when we’re really not.” “Trying” is Wanting Credit for Something You’ll Never Do It equates control with security and safety. It doesn’t want to let go of control and step into the unknown. “Remember that the ego/identity is powerful (and that’s good). It helps us think we’re willing to change, when we’re really not. In fact, we think that one of a coach’s core commitments is to lovingly hold pressure to help others confront their resistance.” We Think We’re Willing to Change If you’re like many of he people we work with, you’d get frustrated, even angry, when we challenge your willingness.īut we don’t do others or ourselves any favors by giving them temporary relief from their unwillingness to face their unwillingness. Now ask yourself, ‘am I willing to change? Am I really willing to change?’Īt this point, you might find yourself saying, ‘I’m willing but I don’t know how.’ And we’d say that this is just an excuse to avoid your resistance. ![]() “What in your life do you want to change? Make a list. The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, “I don’t know how” is often an excuse to avoid your resistance. Many, many people want to change, but most are not willing to change.” “I Don’t Know How” is an ExcuseĬonfront your unwillingness. Willingness to change is every different from knowing how to change, or further still, truly wanting to change. Via The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: Willingness to ChangeĮverybody might say they want to change. In The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, authors Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Warner Klemp help leaders get out of limbo and create change in themselves and help others so the same. When you admit you are unwilling to change, you’ll be surprised how the excuses disappear and the truth comes out. When you face your resistance, you can do something about it. When you own your unwillingness, you can face your resistance. ![]() You tell others, or even yourself, how you will “try” to change.īut you don’t really mean it with a whole body YES. When you aren’t really willing to change, you get stuck in limbo. “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” - Leo Tolstoy ![]()
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